You Can Beat Depression – Snap Out of It!
More people seem depressed than I remember either growing up with, or later working with. There seem to be more factors in the cause of the affliction – I’ll mention a few theories. The trend can change, but it needs us all working together to bring it about – and tips to beat depression. Ways to help with depression are discussed below.
The things that existed when I was growing up have multiplied many times over. There used to be alcoholism, job loss and struggles to make ends meet, couples fighting, bullying, shunning people, aerosol sniffing, and other factors that led to feelings of depression, sadness, or hopelessness. I only knew of one girl who died after sniffing from an aerosol can, then after high school one guy who committed suicide due to parental pressures and lost love. Across the street when growing up the man was an alcoholic, but I wasn’t privy to that information at the time. There was no indication of the sad depression they felt – no one understood it well enough back then. I’ll share some tips for dealing with depression below.
As I get older, the more instances of these issues grow. Today it’s a huge gamut of reasons and symptoms, with society often to blame. Job and school stress, bad relationships, or lack of a relationship when most friends are in one, can’t keep up with others in status, jealousy, loss of loved ones, health issues and more. Politics and war are stressing people out more than ever.
The music we listened to changed. It used to be pleasant, happy music for the most part, though some was all about drugs (most of us didn’t relate to that, however, nor understand the lyrics). There were meaningful lyrics, and great choruses to sing along with. Now there are so many sad and angry songs, sad lyrics, sad tones, and sad chords. There are so many songs of hopelessness – I’m ugly, I can’t get up, let’s end this, make others pay, kill them, no reason to live, loneliness, and such. These tend to drag the listeners down the same downward path, giving the listener a kindred buddy to support the depression. Look for and listen to upbeat music with good messages to rewire your brain.
People tend to find others who are depressed to bond with and lament with, dragging each other down further. (The same can be said for illnesses and support groups – it can work for some, but absolutely pull others further down and create more pain.) Instead of building each other up, there is vindication for the sadness. The “sad face” reaction on social media, for example, can give support in someone’s sadness. If used to commiserate with others when feeling down, it pulls everyone further down the depression route. Instead of saying something encouraging to snap someone out of the sadness, it can reinforce the feelings and take the person further down. People feed off of each other. Sadness and depression are the easy route to take in your mind. It becomes too easy to fall into the sadness, being the path of least resistance.
Bullying has become a normal occurrence anymore. It used to be dealt with, though not always caught. I saw a boy, Joe, shunned from other boys, and no one would eat lunch with him. I chose to sit with him and offer some of my lunch – he rarely had enough to eat. Today, if others continue to shun certain people, make up lies and spread rumors, exclude others and such – it can lead to both depression and suicide. People with challenges, with autism, with gender confusions – do not need bullying but need understanding friends.
People live life glorifying stars, living life through TV shows, thinking reality shows are real life, believing Hollywood depictions of life are the way life should be, and such. Instead of living lives of their own making, and being satisfied with it, people feel inadequate for not rising to the levels of TV life. Then depression may set in.
There are times that you commiserate with someone in a sad time – loss of family member, loss of pet, an accident, an illness, etc. Give a hug, express your sorrow, but then – be encouraging, either right away or after a time later as appropriate. Offer to help and listen. You can help use the situation to channel help for others. My friend Susan lost her son to suicide some years ago, and now she is part of a support system. She gives talks to others to help in their grief and confusion. She’s making a difference for others, which helps give her peace.
Your brain starts to automatically go to the dark thoughts. Depression starts to hard-wire your brain to think bad thoughts more easily, making sad and defeating thoughts be in the least resistance path of thought. This cycle needs to change and find a better path to take – a happier and more confident path – to beat depression.
Beat Depression!
Rewire your brain to think better thoughts and futures. Tomorrow is a new day – the old icky day will be gone. Make tomorrow a better day – or even today!
Rewire your brain to get the funky depressed thoughts out and fill with ones that bring joy. You can beat depression if you work at it – rearrange your thinking and focus on good thoughts.
Turn your depression and sadness around. Below are some ways to help with depression – turn your attitude around.
Do something fun. Find ways to enjoy life. Engage with people and hang out. Treat yourself to a spa treatment. Say “hi” to strangers to brighten their day and maybe they will make your day better. Call a friend or relative and just talk.
Help your friends pull themselves out of their funks. Start building yourself up and build others up. It becomes easier, the more you do it.
Turn positive thinking into the thoughts of least resistance. Instead of looking at hopelessness, look for positive paths forward to snap out of it.
Look for solutions, opportunities, and possibilities to make things better and help others.
Look up not down! Avoid the news and things that distress you. You need time to heal yourself and not be taken downward until you are more stable to digest it again.
Always come up with a positive thing to say (to yourself and to others) – you can climb out of the hole you’ve dug yourself into…a bit at a time until you’re out of the hole. This rewires your brain.
Smile and laugh more, whether you feel like it or not. You can beat depression by pushing bad thoughts out and good thoughts in. Just start.
Once you re-train your brain, it’s easier to be happy than to be sad. Choose the happier path, over and over to set it in.
Do things that are good for you.
Get exercise. Exercise is great for the brain and moods. Exercise can help clear away thoughts that bring you down.
Sign up for exercise classes, learn a dance, go to church, take a tour of an area of interest, and try new things. New learned things help you feel better about yourself.
Play with your pets. Pets can grant peace and give unconditional love. They need a caretaker which gives you a purpose.
Visit with and call people – get off social media and interact with people in person.
Go to a nursing home and brighten others’ days. Volunteer at schools. Volunteer to read for kids at schools or libraries. Volunteer at hospitals. Volunteer at animal shelters. Giving to others helps rein in depression.
Hug people. People contact is so helpful for depression.
Surprise people. Make someone smile and maybe you will also smile.
Do favors and expect nothing in return.
Stop watching the news so much – it is very depressing, especially when “not just the facts,” but so much of “what-ifs” and potential outcomes, with no proofs of which may or may not come about. Watching the news can make anyone feel depressed.
Eat healthy. Avoid sugar, mindless eating, junk food, smoking, drugs, alcohol and such. Many of these can push the depression further.
Don’t expect to be in a relationship but let one develop at some point when everyone is ready. Pressure to date and marry can lead to depression but only gets rid of feelings of pressure. No one should push anyone to have a relationship or a child. It’s a personal choice and when the person is ready.
Don’t “catastrophize” – don’t make yourself think things get worse in the many ways you can imagine. Don’t worry about things – it makes your brain shut down and causes more stress. The more you worry, the harder it is to think straight (worry won’t change an outcome). Instead of worry, as what you can do to help – only actions can change a path.
Just plug along, one task at a time.
Don’t overwhelm yourself with too much to do. Make a list and check it off, being happy for each accomplishment. Cross off what you can but push things to another day if you can’t complete everything.
If you cannot make progress on turning depression around, go see a doctor and get counseling, which may or may not include medication for depression. A doctor can help you figure your best path to try to help.
Biofeedback was a good therapy for me early on. Later, I tried EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) – it unlocked a part of my brain that was holding a memory that disturbed me – but to get past it I needed to confront it and work out my misguided guilt about it – then I could go forward. There are many types of therapies, and a doctor can help figure out the best one for you.
Don’t “ask” for or take anti-depressants unless your doctor feels it is necessary to give your brain a chance to rewire your thoughts. Make your own good thoughts to try to snap out of it. People get too dependent on the meds and then need to wean off slowly and safely (wean off per doctor instructions), once the need is over. The medications don’t address the root cause of the depression but act as a band-aid to the symptoms while you try to work on it. Work on why you are depressed and confront it and find ways to help with it.
You don’t have to “forget” some memory – but need to come to terms with it and not obsess over it when it affects other people.
Find a healthy relationship with your memories and realize it remains painful, but healing takes time. When I lost my mother, it was difficult, but I had a 5-year-old who needed me and a dog. I had to be strong and focus on those who needed me. I cried on every anniversary of her death and birthday for some years, but now I can think about her and the wonderful memories of her.
No what ifs, should haves, could haves in life – go forward in whatever path you’ve put yourself in and don’t look back or regret. Make the most of any decision you make. No regrets – work out the new path.
Don’t wallow in sad thoughts – look for good thoughts and positive things. Always remember – there is hope, and things could be very different and better in a day. To give up right before things change for good would be terrible.
If you really cannot get out of your funk, you should see a doctor or therapist to help. You might need sessions and perhaps a medication to help.
Depression is a condition in the mind that compounds, doesn’t want to let go and intensifies. Break the habit and cycle that is so easy to fall into. Change the path and be positive – find the positive in any situation. Then build up both yourself and others. Be positive! It takes time and work, but it should get better.
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