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Dad Doesn't Remember Dementia Dad
Dad versus Dementia Dad
My dad called me wanting an assessment of his condition. My dad has dementia and doesn't remember between the person he is.
I told him there is my dad and there is dementia dad. I don’t think they know each other. Dad is forgetful but nice and appreciative. Dementia dad is mean (accuses and blames), is suspicious, has delusions of things that never happened, and thinks he is as capable as when young. I said I do not think they know each other and he doesn't remember what the other said or did.
Dad was surprised that he said or did the things I told him dementia dad did and was sorry. I said he doesn’t need to be sorry – it’s just the disease. Dad versus dementia dad is tough for everyone.
I told him it’s hard to do what needs to be done when dementia dad shows up and wants control back (though he’s proven he has no way to manage his affairs). Dementia dad is hard to explain anything to because he always “knows best.” Dad can listen, reason somewhat, and somewhat understand what I tell him. No matter what I say to Dad, dementia Dad doesn’t remember. Whatever I tell dementia dad something, Dad never seems to remember. Dad versus dementia dad is frustrating for everyone, including Dad.
We went to court to have a conservator and guardian assigned to him, taking us from the blame if dementia dad doesn’t agree with our decisions. It is now the only way we can keep our dad safe from himself and dementia dad (restrict his driving, restrict his access to accounts at the bank, take away his checks and cards, etc.). I want a relationship with my dad while he can still emerge.
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